I'm not reviewing this: Mass Effect 2

By the grace of god, or some forward thinking genius at Bioware/Microsoft Game Studios, apparently the save file which I had deleted from my hard drive apparently copies itself into some hidden away spot that can't be touched without a full reformatting. Thus, I could go into Mass Effect 2 with my ruthless, red headed Commander Shepard.
It's tough to figure out where to begin with this game. It would be hard to get into details of the story without potentially spoiling some of the surprises. But essentially you're back in the Normandy after a 2 year absence. Rather than operating out of the Citadel, you're working with a private organization to continue on your way to eliminating evil from the galaxy. It's up to you as to recruit a ragtag group of allies and tack the fight to those pesky Reapers in what is very accurately described as a suicide mission.

To be honest, its hard to recommend this game in a way that doesn't already assume you know what's going on. After all, one of the big features is that you can import your character from he previous game and all major decisions will have an effect in this game and the follow-up, whenever that may be. What is easy to do is talk about the vast improvements in actual game play. The shooting has been improved to a point where it could almost legitimately be called a shooter and hold up well against other games in the genre. But the great thing is that withing the shooting constructs there is still great freedom to let loose on the Tech and Biotic powers that characters have access to. The game still allows for pausing to select commands, but you are also able to hot key the special abilities so that you are free to stay in real-time combat, which can add a nice level of intensity.

Also greatly improved is the planetary exploration and inventory system. The planets are no longer an endless sea of the same topographical layouts with a different hue on it. And you no longer have to drive around to score small amounts of platinum before entering the same repeated colony base. Instead, you can go to each planet and scan them. If there is a mission available on the surface, a voice cue will let you know right away and you can choose to seek it out. This is really helpful in alleviating the problem the first game had, where you would drive around and maybe you'll find something to do. And the best part is that there is actual variety to the planet side missions. Also involved in the planetary exploration is a mini game which can become tedious, and although very optional, does provide the necessary materials for performing weapon and armour upgrades.

The inventory improvement is simply that they did away with it. While some might be disappointed with the lack of constant loot grabs, it really is much better with the system they have. Guns come in five varieties which can be altered with the aformentioned upgrades, allowing you to quickly swap between weapon types without having to worry about nitpicking stats. The same holds true with the armour. There are several pieces you can collect which make slight stat alterations, and also slight cosmetic changes.

Probably the brightest spot is in the story and characters. ME is very successful at doing what I felt Dragon Age:Origins lacked and that was the actual freedom to play how you wanted. Although in DA:O you were free to make choices, it became quite clear what was bad and what was good, and there was absolutely no incentive to try playing bad because it always resulted doors being closed to you without any new ones opening up. Not so in ME2. If you want to be a hero of pure virtue, or a psychotic killer, you can be, and it's not going to make people just up and leave the group. You have a mission to complete, and they are with you til the end. And since you're all on a suicide mission, that could be the literal end. Each recruitable character comes with a side quest which, if completed in the correct way, leads to that person being loyal to you, which has the added bonus of opening up a new ability for that character. And when it comes down to it, Bioware made sure that having a loyal crew is of utmost importance.

Mass Effect 2 is a spectacle of a game. It improves greatly on the solid foundations laid out by its predecessor. The incredible atmosphere is still there, and without the annoying game play elements that seemed to drag down the experience. Its sure to get a grip on you, and hold it tightly right up until the intense and potentially shocking conclusion. It's an amazing experience that people should really make sure they have

I'm not reviewing this: Dark Void

Bland. There isn't really much else needed to say about this game.

Let's see, it's set in the 30's, has Nolan North playing Nathan Drake again, only this time he's called Will, and it's a rip off the The Rocketeer. I will admit that amidst the really dull visual style of the game, I am enjoying the character models. There's a slight Disney-by-way-of-Unreal Engine element to their features that gives them a hint of exageration, mainly in the eyes. But wait, that isn't the only bright spot. The music in this game is quite good. It is suitably subtle when it needs to be, and ramps up quite nicely to match the intensity of the aerial combat or firefights.

Now for the bad. The main hook behind this game is the jet pack you get to play around with. In theory, this opens up all kinds of new gameplay opportunities by allowing enemies to exist on multiple planes. The game will even throw vertical combat at you with a cover system that lets you hide below ledges to shoot people higher up, or vice versa. And for the most part it works well, although in reality it isn't all that interesting to play through. It really feels like going through the motions of a standard cover-based shooter. And the real problem with the combat is that it's all been done before, and better. And it probably also had Nolan North in it.

Things really take a turn for the worse when it comes to using the jetpack. The flying controls are very loose which makes the aerial combat extremely frustrating. Even when the look sensitvity was turned way down, the reticle would still go zooming past whatever the intended target was. It got to the point where actually trying to shoot down enemy ships was too time consuming, and that hijacking the enemy ships became more effective. This produces a really simple mini-game which, for some reason, still allows you to be killed by random gun fire that you can't see coming and have no way of avoiding. Awesome. There was a rather big aerial battle in the second episode that required numerous retries simply because of ridiculous deaths that occurred while trying to steal enemy ships, and not one of these deaths was the result of me failing at the mini-game. That type of thing should not happen.

Probably the most conflicting aspect of the game is the story versus the pacing and design that go with it. The game is broken into three episodes. Very little happens during the first episode beyond some bad camera controls and a few instances of being in dark locations where literally nothing could be seen in terms of level geometry that would indicate where to go next. The second episode really ramps it up with the aerial combat leading into major set piece battles and a heavy spike in difficulty towards the end of it.  The story itself starts to get interesting by introducing the evil element that you are up against and giving explanation as to how and why these events came to be. The third episode is all over the place. The probem is that the levels that accompany the plot are disjointed. The final stretch of the game is essentially four set-piece battles, including an arduously long turret sequence, and two boss battles which are extremely out of place with everything else in the game. These are broken up by short cut scenes which made it seem like two completely different games were sewn together. By the time it was over, it was almost hard to believe that that was the intential direction that the developers took with this game.

There was a lot of promise in the concepts behind Dark Void, but ultimately the design of the game does not meet that. From the sparse plot to the uncooperative controls, almost everything in this game falls flat. Considering the sea of high profile releases to be found in the weeks leading up to and following its release, its definitly a wise choice to give this one a pass

More of the same

In an effort to not feel like I have to be playing Dark Void, I'm going to lament the seemingly awful things that will be coming out in the next few weeks, and I won't be playing.

On the 26th of this month we have Mass Effect 2. Truth be told, I am very much looking forward to this game, yet I will not play it. "Why?" non-existent readers may ask. Well the answer is quite simple: at some point I deleted my save file from the first game. Unless there is some way to create a save file with a sassy, redheaded Shepherd, a living Wrex and a dead Ashley, then I won't be trying to continue on with the story. It's a shame really. I had looked forward to getting back into that universe only to be shut down by my lack of foresight. Who knows? Although I hear Dark Void is very short, so I might just have enough time on my hands.

The second game on the list is Bioshock 2. The original Bioshock was what myself and many others considered to be a masterpiece. It had such an impact on me as to completely ruin the FPS genre for me for about 2 years. It had a fully realised world with colourfully psychotic characters, and a story and twist that go down as one of the best ever seen in a game. So why are they trying to piss on it with a sequel.

I feel bad for the people over 2K Marin and 2K Australia, and the 15 other developers that got roped into this project. I'm sure that they are all lovely people, with good values and beautiful families, but this game simply should not exist.

I realise that Bishock sold tons of copies, and made Take-Two a boatload of money, but sometimes its okay to let a game exist as a single entity without being wrung-out to make sequels or spin-offs (and the same thing can be said of movies, and for some odd reason, hip hop albums). Bioshock had a perfectly self-contained story that was a work of art on its own, and incidentally, had an ending that sort of sealed off the universe. But then this sequel comes along, and to prove its sequel-ness, where the first game introduced us to Big Daddies, now we have Big Sisters! Where rapture used to be controlled by a right-wing lunatic, the new game is about a left-wing lunatic. Boy, I bet those brainstorming sessions went so long they had to order in some Chinese food.

Plus they added multi player.Good thing too, because there's nothing better than having another multi player game that no one else is playing. Wolfenstein, Section 8 and James Cameron's Avatar: The Game say hi. Nobody was playing the first game and saying to themselves how great the gun play and combat felt. I have a gut feeling nobody will be saying that this time around either.

So ultimately I reject this game as being an unnecessary grab for cash. The first game had something special that I hadn't really felt from a game in a long time, and this one seems like it has no soul. Maybe I'll be completely wrong, but unless the word of mouth on this game consists entirely of "this is better in every way than the original," I'm not going to sully my memories of a masterpiece.

I'm Not Reviewing This: Darksiders

I really want to wholeheartedly (or whoreheartedly as I mistyped the first time) recommend this game to anyone within earshot of me, which typically is almost no one. The problem is, this game makes me feel really stupid. A lot.

I had really hope to have the game finished right now. And I know that starting and finishing Bayonetta only contributed negatively to that goal. But now that I'm back on the Darksiders train, I just keep getting stuck. And its not that the game is really hard or poorly designed, I just keep overlooking things which turn out to be very obvious once I realise the error of my ways.

And then I feel like a moron.

But it's not the game's fault. I have a really terrible attention span.

So beyond that, the game is pretty good. The artstyle seems manages to pull of the amazing feat of being both really stylish and extremely generic at the same time. The protagonist, War, has a suitable epic look that one would expect from one of the Four Horsemen. The bosses and other main characters are suitable imposing. Probably my biggest gripe for the character design is that the demon Samael looks a whole lot like Tim Curry's character in Legend. It's cool and lame all at once.

And the elephant in the room is Zelda. At least that's what I'm hearing. I haven't played a Zelda game since Link's Awakening, and that was a very long time ago. But people do make some very convincing arguments that Darksiders borrows quite heavily in both game mechanics and progression. If that's so, I gotta play me some Zelda games. It's really fun way to keep things moving along, always providing some new equipment or skills so that the game never has a chance to get boring. At least not yet anyway. Hopefully I can figure out what I'm supposed to be doing so that I can know for that for sure.

I'm not reviewing this: Bayonetta

Oh, Bayonetta! How you abuse me so.

Sometimes I really like to play something that is outright, unapologetically insane. And luckily, Bayonetta came along to scratch an itch that Modern Warfare 2 created a couple of months back. It’s hard to describe exactly what is going on in Bayonetta, but that is largely due to the fact that what is going on makes almost no sense.

At a very basic level, this is a hack and slash game from some of the same minds that created the Devil May Cry series. I’m not going to lie: I have no prior experience with the DMC series beyond a demo for the fourth game. I have no opinion as to whether or not this is simply rehashing that formula or doing something entirely on its own. Not that it matters either way. This game moves at such a break-neck pace, with such fluid and fun combat, that I would say it is impossible not to get lost in the game and appreciate it for what it offers.

So what does it offer? For starters a giant, dominatrix witch with guns attached to her shoes? Weird demon animals made out of her hair, which incidentally doubles as her clothing. But really, those are bullet point features that everyone has mentioned before. The real thrill is in watching how this derailed roller coaster plays out. But don’t take that for meaning that the story is amazing. There isn’t much there. And other than some lengthy (and slightly boring) cut-scenes towards the end, there really isn’t much effort made towards telling a story. There is definitely a focus on style over substance here, but it totally works. Fighting the giant bosses only to have them be eaten by the hair demon you control is about as much of a high point as you are going to get while gaming. It looks great, makes no sense, and is a hell of a lot of fun, and that’s really all I ever want from Japanese developed games

Lazy game designers

So I've had my eye on this Dante's Inferno game for a while now. I realise that it's basically God of War only Christian, but it's that old school Xian hellfire and brimstone aesthetic that makes me want to play it. Hell, we're only a couple of weeks into 2010, and there's already several games that attract my love of violent angel destruction. I'm a very happy camper.

Then I saw this




So after all the violence, sex and bastardization of classic literature and mythology, the best you guys can do for Fraud is arena combat? Jeepers. This has almost single-handedly destroyed my interest in the game. In no way do I desire being stuck in one area until I can kill X number of enemies before the time runs out, or build up a combo of Y number or hits, or kill Z number of enemies with a specific attack. It's not fun. It's tedious and it only artificially lengthens the game's playtime.

The worst part is that this same mechanic is popping up in these other awesome angel killing games. Bayonetta is off the hook for this because it's arena challenges are just side missions that you actually have to go out of your way to find. Perfect. If someone wants them, then they are they to try. On the other hand, Darksiders forces you to complete these battles in order to progress. The weird thing is, that seems to be a really solid game so far. Why did they feel the need to add these mindless sections? I figure that I'm roughly half-way through that game, and I've already completed 2 sets of 4 challenges. I fully expect more to pop up, but hopefully I'm wrong about that.

Of course, the arena section is nothing new to games. It's been an rpg cliche for ages. Hell, depending on your origin choice, you might have an arena section twice of the course of playing Dragon Age: Origins. That doesn't mean it deserves to be here. I would love for the future of game development to not rely on this crutch. If you want your arena challenges, keep them optional. It worked for Batman:AA, and it can work for you. An ideal game lets the player get lost in the experience. There's not better way to drag them right out of that immersion than by adding a timer. So please, for the love of god, don't do it.